"Worst (insert title) Ever"

Mainstream comics, that is, ones with superheros in them, are in a real quandary these days. With all the movies based on superheros coming out in theaters, you'd think we'd be seeing a upswing in comic book sales these days. I'm being generous here when I estimate the total regular audience for that sort of thing to be around a quarter of a million. While in and of itself, it's not a bad number, I suspect the average comic publisher is inclined to buy ice cream for every one in the office if sales on one of their comics tops 10,000 in a good month. Bear in mind, in those heady days of 'Bang-pow-zoom-comics-ain't-just-for-kids' in the late 80's, an acceptable title was one that sold at least 50,000, and sales of only 10,000 would've got the title in question cancelled.

The reason for this, of course, is the explosion of Manga titles in North America, and the audience that it captures. Manga's big success is that it's captured that Holy Grail of comic publishers here, namely female comic buyers. It's also created a type of comic buyer that's willing to go to such lengths as to teach itself to read the comic backwards. This is an astonishing feat in our fast-food pop culture. The big thing is, though, readers of translated manga are highly unlikely to buy domestic comics, and in fact, tend to view superhero comics in the same way that people with no interest in comic books at all view superhero comics.

As a result, superhero comic publishers are less likely to try different ideas for comics in terms of stories, and more likely to stick with the tried and true comics like Superman and Batman in an attempt to keep what little market share they have. What this means in practical terms is that if say, Brian Michael Bendis does a bang-up job on Daredevil, and Bendis' run pumps up sales of Daredevil a tad, then it makes perfect sense to get Bendis to start writing for Batman, and maybe Superman as well. The result of this is, if Bendis wants to do an original series for DC, he can put it in the closet for the foreseeable future, as his professional time will be taken up doing more fieldwork for DC. Also, it means that another writer with a less successful run ain't gonna be getting his big break writing for Batman, at least, not any time soon.

(Here's a tangent: Imagine a T.V. writer now who's been working for, say, 'Bionic Woman'. With the recent strike in place, his income flow has dropped to nothing. Manfully throwing back his shoulders, he gathers up his briefcase full of comic-book scripts and demeans himself to the professional step-down of auditioning for a shot at writing a 'Jonah Hex' mini-series. And there, in the DC reception area, are Joss Whedon and Ronald D. Moore, also trying out for the coveted 'Jonah Hex' spot...)

What you're finding now is writers like Warren Ellis, Grant Morrison, and Garth Ennis who've made their mark with original series like, 'Transmetropolitan', 'The Invisibles', and 'Preacher' now writing 'X-Men', 'Nick Fury', and 'Planetary'. At this point, writing only non-superhero comics alone is something they can't afford to do. The goal for writers in their position is to jump from being big fish in the small pond of comics, to being plankton in the ocean of T.V. and film. The advantage of this move, of course, is that while they have to put up with the same petty ego battles and money grubbing overlords that they endured as comic writers, at least the money's worth it.

Which brings me to Garth Ennis' latest, The Boys (B) The premise being that in a world with corporate-sponsored superhero teams allowed carte blanche in dealing with supervillans, the U.S. government takes it on itself to hire a team of specialists to ensure that the superheroes are kept in line. Think of it as Ennis' version of Nathaniel West's "Day of the Locust". Personally, I'm more on the side of 'non-comic book person' when it comes to superhero comics, so I'm closest to an ideal audience.

It's not his best work, nowhere near the ribald fun of 'Dicks' or the epic scope of 'Preacher', but the twists and turns Ennis takes with the story are enough to keep me on board for now. I like to imagine him on his computer, late at night, typing away and screaming, "How d' ye like tha', Batman? Ah made yeh a watermelon-humpin' pervert, I did!" Extra points for using Simon Pegg of 'Shawn of the Dead' and 'Hot Fuzz' as a model for Wee Hughie, the P.O.V. character.

The problem with the comic, however, ties in to what I said earlier about trying to expand the mainstream comic-buying readership. This market that's in question wants to see Alan Moore's "Watchmen II: Electric Boogaloo" as opposed to Alan Moore's "A Small Killing". In other words, the audience wants to see the lives and loves of demi-gods in leotards, drawn as photo-realistically as an artist can, and told in the most earnest manner possible. To them, this comic is a frat-boy's wedgie. Put it this way: Years ago, Harvey Kurtzman pointed out the absurdity of Wonder Woman being able to deflect bullets via her bracelets without getting her wrists broken or being knocked over, and those general idioms still hold sway in the business. Ennis shows us a world where Wonder Woman is a bitter, drunken asshole. 'The Boys' has been already cancelled by Wildstorm, and I have a feeling it won't last too much longer in its current place at Dynamite.

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As long as I'm geeking out over here, some quick thoughts on 'South Park'...

-The three-parter 'Imaginationland' starts out strong in the first part, carries through quite nicely in the second, and just kinda ends on a 'blah' in the third. I'm a little disappointed, mainly because having the infamous 'Christmas Critters' make a comeback had me hoping they'd be more integral to the story...

-Best Part: Cartman's obliviousness to the end of humanity's shared imaginative consciousness, just so he can humiliate Kyle in the most vile manner possible.

-Butter's last line. "Aw, shit!"

-"Guitar Queer-o" works for me as 1) I'm a huge 'Guitar Hero' nut myself, and eagerly anticipate 'Rock Band'. and 2) I've always hated that particular movie sub-genre the episode rips on, namely, the umpteenth million variation of 'A Star Is Born'. Needs more Cartman being a shitbag, though.