"Rosebud was his SLED!!!"

One thing that gets bandied about in the discussion of films is the preponderance of bloopers within. That is, errors in a film that certain eagle-eyed viewers catch that they are all too eager to share with the rest of us. Oddly enough, for my own part, I'm not such a continuity freak that such things really bother me. And really, pointing out a show's bloopers reminds me of this classic exchange from the Simpsons:

Doug: [wearing a T-shirt that says "Genius at Work"] Hi. A question for Miss Bellamy. In episode 2F09 when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib twice in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is some sort of a magic xylophone or something? Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

June Bellamy: Uh, well...

Homer: I'll field this one.

Homer: [to Doug] Let me ask you a question. Why would a man whose shirt says "Genius at Work" spend all of his time watching a children's cartoon show?

[pause]

Doug: I withdraw my question. [takes a bite from a bar of chocolate]

Ultimately, in a good movie, any bloopers within aren't going to detract from your enjoyment of it. For instance, in the classic 'Citizen Kane', since no one is close enough to Charles Foster Kane to hear his final word gasped out, "Rosebud", how does the reporter know how to uncover its cryptic meaning? Unless you were to really think about it, you wouldn't notice that error itself. And on the other hand, in a Uwe Boll crap fest, f'r instance, someone ensuring that a SWAT team's uniforms and equipment are accurate isn't really going to obscure the simple fact that the movie is a celluloid turd.

Also, there is a point where verisimilitude in a movie detracts from the audience's pleasure in seeing the movie. Here's a hypothetical: Say you're seeing a drama about the intertwining lives of some residents of New Orleans, post-Katrina. One of the stars in the ensemble is an up-and-coming young actor, 'X'. 'X's role in the drama is of a young trumpet player who's developed an enthusiasm for Dixieland jazz. In the course of the film, the young musician serenades the other characters with an elegiac rendition of 'St. James Infirmary' in a scene that is meant to symbolize the destruction of not just a great American city, but an invaluable link to America's culture. Here's the problem: The scene is shot so we, the audience, can clearly see that the actor, 'X', is in fact really playing the trumpet, and not cut to a close-up of a session musician's hands on a trumpet. The audience, has in fact, been made into a jury, judging 'X's trumpet-playing, as opposed to an audience wanting to see a story unfold. And the mood is broken. The audience leaves the theater thinking, Gee, I had no idea 'X' was such a good horn player as opposed to, My, what a sad scene where Joey, the earnest young musician mourns his city in the most eloquent way he can.

That having been said, here's some bloopers from some famous (and not-so-famous) films that I've spotted. Next time you rent these ones, keep an eye out!

Dumbo (1941)- Elephants can't fucking fly! Even if the fucking elephant's ears were each the size of fucking football fields, the fucking elephant couldn't get off the fucking ground! Fuck!

Star Wars (1976)- How many physics lessons does Hollywood have to ignore? There. Are. No. Explosions. In. Space. It's a vacuum! Sound doesn't travel in a vacuum! Arrgh!

The Sting (1973)- Robert Redford and Paul Newman weren't adults in the thirties! They were toddlers! Are we to believe that toddlers are capable of being con-artists?

It's a Wonderful Life (1946)- Jimmy Stewart's character enjoys some colorful flowers. Trouble is, the movie's shot in black-and-white! Hello?

Say, What's the Big Idea? (1936)- Wop Dabney's character vomits a bathtub full of stomach contents on Lady Huffington's toy terrier, Flopsy, then in the next scene, Flopsy's totally clean! As if!

1941 (1976)- It wasn't made in 1941, it was made in 1976!

Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003) Ian Mckellan isn't really a wizard named Gandalf; he's a renowned Shakespearean actor from Britain. I bet he couldn't even cast a fireball in real life! Haw!

Schindler's List (1993)- Everyone knows the 'holocaust' was made up by the Jews so they could guilt-trip everyone else into selling 'em gabardine at cost. Jeez.

Amistad (1997)- Same goes for black people being 'enslaved'. Double jeez.

A Clockwork Orange (1971)- Malcolm McDowell has white hair; why'd Kubrick cast a senior citizen in the part of a sociopathic teenager? Couldn't he cast, you know, an actual teenager? Hey, Stanley, here's a tip: For your next movie, cast a teenager in the part you think a real teenager would be good for.

The Song of The Donkey-Raper (1983)- Muad J'abdoad is speaking Farsi when the locale is clearly Northern Iran.

United 93 (2006)- So if the towelheads delayed everyone's flight, why didn't people just book other travel arrangements? Dur!

Roadhouse (1989) Okay, so if this movie's set in 1989, how come some of the Jim Beam bottle labels in the bar are from the Jim Beam's 'new, improved' labelling implemented in 1990? Kinda makes you think...

Independence Day (1996) Bill Pullman was never elected to the office of President of the United States; he's a movie actor! Also, his name's 'Bill Pullman', not 'Thomas J. Whitmore'.

Donnie Darko (2001)- 'Cellar Door' are not the most beautiful words in the English language; the most beautiful words in the English language, are, in fact, 'Nickel Slots'.

Blade Runner (1983)-When Deckard arrives home, Rachel is already waiting for him in the elevator. However, a) Rachel has no way of knowing where Deckard lives, as information regarding a policeman's address is not given out to the public, least of all a replicant, and b) Rachel could not have followed him because Deckard was first taken by Gaff to Leon's apartment via police spinner, then Deckard drove home using his own sedan; and even after driving home, Rachel was already waiting for him. Also, I cry a lot for no reason whatsoever.

Rambo III (1988)- So, that one scene, where Rambo guts the Russian officer, and plays the officer's exposed ribcage like a xylophone? We hear two distinct tones when Rambo hits the same rib twice. Are we to believe that the officer has a magic rib cage? That is capable of making two distinct notes when hit in succession? Boy, I hope someone lost their job over that blunder...