On Web Cartooning...

As the old saying goes, the great thing about the Internet is that anyone can participate; the bad thing about the Internet is that ANYONE can participate...

I don't see much of a point in bringing up bad Internet comics to make fun of; it's not like the 'camp' factor in bad movies. When it comes to comics on the web, if it isn't a fuckin' masterpiece, I don't even want to look at it. Thanks to Scott McCloud's 'Reinventing Comics', a lot of people without any innate skills felt that if they put up their derivative, self-involved, whiny crap, they might be able to get money for 'em. Here's a good rule of thumb: If a comic has 'furries', 'goths', 'gay college students', long-winded socio-political tirades masquerading as story-lines, 'nice-guys-finish-last' story-lines, drawn in a quasi-anime style, or horror of horrors, all of 'em in one package... it blows goats for nickels and gives change, figuratively speaking.

Instead, I'd like to point out four really good ones for the benefit of you all here. First off, we have Chris Onstad's Achewood, which seems to have 'furries' as it's protagonists. Actually, they're a collection of Onstad's toy animal collection brought to life in a demented manner. Onstad's line could be described as 'Adobe Illustrator Lite', and on casual glance, his strips have an improv feel to them. It's his quick wit and matter-of-fact weirdness that keeps the strip entertaining. My personal favorite storyline of his would be the "Great Outdoor Fight", in which rap mogul Ray Steckels and depressed slacker pal Roast Beef attend a Darwinian fight competition that Ray's been invited too, as he's B-O-C (blood of champions-Ray's dad won a match in the 70's) Oh, hell, just check it out here.

Tristan Farnon's Leisuretown is also a delight, though he's stopped putting out any new work for a while. I imagine the labour-intensive method of photographing bendy animals and painstakingly photoshopping them into urban settings took a toll from him. Coupled with the typical 'net audience' complaint of 'Hey, where's our free entertainment,man! What a rip-off! Farnon, you sell-out!", it probably discouraged him. Though I'd put good money on his return, if not to 'Leisuretown', then to something else. Humour this clever and subversive can't stay dormant for long...

In keeping with the blunt, snarky tone of my blog, I must tell you that political cartoons suck. Suck, suck, suck. The last truly great political cartoon I ever saw was one of a former B.C. Premier, Bill Vanderzalm, pulling the wings off a fly and saying, "It's a fun thing, don't you see?" (I now have no idea of what the issue in question was about, or even who drew it, but it made me laugh...) The vast majority of them tend not to rise beyond the cliche of a pig in a tuxedo eating out of a trough saying 'Taxpayer, restrain thyself!'. And that's what passes for discourse in our culture. I can't think of any body on the right side of the political spectrum successfully engaging in cartoon demagoguery, it would be like being the Iraqi Minister of Propaganda. Well, there's that 'tard that does that 'Mallard Fillmore' cartoon, but he got busted for a DWI a while back, and if I was a Republican, I'd still want him arrested for impersonating a cartoonist.

And really, the Left isn't much better, sad to say. If they're not being spineless, like Stephanie McMillian (she's like a nicer 'Mallard Fillmore' guy), they're being plain out of step with reality, like Ted Rall. When he's not pissing on 9/11 widows or espousing conspiracy theories, he just plain sucks as a cartoonist. (Most of the criticism against him would be blunted if he were a better draftsman.)

So it warms my black little heart to endorse the work of Tim Krieder. He's a skilled artist with the disciplined, elegant line of Kilban, Gerald Scarfe, and Ralph Steadman. With a little DuMaurier thrown in, I may add. Plus, his observations are well-thought out and astute. He realizes that the Left in America is as much to blame for the resurgence of the Right in America, and gives out the slaps accordingly. A kinder, gentler Christopher Hutchens, if you will. His cartoons of Dubya and Dubya's new best pal, Dick Cheney are a thing of joy and beauty. Krieder's rendition of Cheney, especially, capture the essence of what it means to be that horrid, small-minded, mean-spirited, selfish, cruel, sneering, hypocritical, tight-assed, greedy, grasping, hollow-souled, rotten, insensitive, criminal, lesbian-breeding, lawyer-shooting, useless fuck-pig son-of-a-bitch.

Ahem.

In his latest cartoon (see here) in the third panel we see a parasitical alien mind being transferred from Cheney to (I presume) Giuliani. "Ahh...", it hisses in what is no doubt a guttural, sibilant tone: "Such luxuriant hair!" That, to me, is, in essence, the heart and soul of the Bush administration.

And finally, let me point you all in the direction of one Steve LeCoulliard, a fine chap whom I've had the pleasure of working with at one time. If he were living in France thirty years ago, you'd see his name mentioned amongst Peyo, Uderzo, and Franquin in the classic "Bigfoot" school of Euro-cartooning. Well, I think so. Plus, there's a hint of Leiji Matsumoto and Akira Toriyama in his character design. He's currently running a 'Robin Hood' comic in his blog space which is turning out to be a hoot and a half. Please do check it out, won't you? (Consider this all penance for that truly libelous post I put in in his name several months back...)

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr(gasp)rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, me hearties!"

Pirates of the Caribbean: Sweet Jesus, Isn't It Over Yet? (C+) The Hip Movie Critic thing to do in this case is to use this movie as a dismissive example of how summer movies are just an updated version of the State Fair. That is, one goes to the Fair, you see the prize-winning pigs, ride the tilt-o-whirl, eat some corn dogs, and generally have a good time. Unless it rains or someone breaks into your car in the parking lot or something like that...

Which is what the whole PotC franchise is about, really. (Remember, it was a ride at Disneyland first.) And since I'm not hip, nor a movie critic, I don't really have any complaints about the ride. Well, after I saw the first two, I'm kinda obliged to see this one, like the Lord of the Rings, Matrix, and Star Wars trilogy. And, you know, I'd say it was worth my time and money. And unlike Peter Jackson, director Gore Verblinski sets up his action sequences so there's some payoff. And you know, Johnny Depp isn't too bad. In fact, the movie just drags when he's not on screen. Well, it kinda drags anyway, but you know what I mean...

I don't want to analyze it too deeply, (oops, here I go...) but where it succeeds as a ride, it fails as a movie. The story jumps all over the place, just so the audience feels they're getting their money's worth. Except for Depp, none of the other characters has any connection to the audience. I suspect Geoffery Rush came back since people really liked him in the first one. Though really, he has no reason whatsoever to help the others out. And Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom have no chemistry together. In fact, if they were brother and sister, it wouldn't affect the story one bit. And Chow Yun Fat's role could've been played by a mannequin with a tape recorder. (His costume has more appeal then his character.) There's no emotional high points to the movie. Characters reunite or discover family members have died, and their reaction is, "Oh, nice to see you." or, "Aww...".

It's awfully nice to look at, though. The special effects don't overwhelm the story, unlike the usual summer blockbuster film fare. There's one scene where a bunch of rocks reveal themselves as crabs, then lift and carry a ship to the sea. Referring to my earlier point about emotional impacts, it has more of a charge to it than Elizabeth Swann's discovering her father's been killed. Between you and me, my big highlight was seeing Keith Richards as Depp's daddy...