More Short Ones...

Shoot 'em up - (D) It's like the execrable 'Crank', in that the story is just a pretext for all the shooting and mayhem. What makes it less wretched is the charisma of the three leads, Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, and Monica Bellucci. However, since director/writer guy whatsisname decided to make the story as over-the-top as the action, the two elements are fighting against one another. As a result, the story doesn't engage the viewer, and the action, presumably why one goes to see movies like this, doesn't stimulate the viewer in even the most primal way.

3:10 to Yuma - (B) Solid remake of an old 50's western. The only trouble is that leads Russell Crowe and Christian Bale don't seem to be too engaged in their respective roles. For instance, here's Russell Crowe's character: "Ho hum, I'm the leader of a band of criminals who rob and pillage indiscriminately. There's no reason for me to hang out with these guys, since my skills are so ahead of theirs, their only practical use for me is cannon-fodder. If I don't come to respect Christian Bale's struggling farmer, there's really no point for me to be in this movie." And Christian Bale: "Yawn. I'm a struggling farmer who's volunteered to escort Crowe to a train station to take him to jail because I need the money. Also, I would like to earn the respect of my son, who seems to be idolizing Crowe." If they aren't involved, why should we be?

West Side Story - (C) Pauline Kael said it best: It's a musical for people who don't like musicals. The dancing is energetic, the sets are beautifully done, the songs are catchy, (And clever! Stephen Sondheim must've studied under the Dick DeBartolo school of songwriting.) So why does the movie leave me underwhelmed? Well, musicals are at their best when they're in the moment, that is, when everyone's singing and dancing about. So the best ones tend to have rather shallow themes. (Boy meets/loses/regains girl...) West Side Story's problem is when it tries to shoehorn social commentary into the Romeo and Juliet story. You're made to feel that you're paying for all the energetic singing and dancing with a bitter shot of righteous finger-wagging.

Much better is Singin' in the Rain (A) Damned enjoyable. It succeeds where West Side Story fails, merely by aiming a hell of a lot lower in the story department. It's an inside joke to the movie industries' transition from silent film to 'talkies'. It's slight, ephemeral, and a lot of fun.

War -(D-) When you put Jet Li in a movie with Jason Statham, you kinda expect a pretty banal story that's an excuse to give us tightly choreographed fight sequences. In fact, that's why we watch these type of movies- see 'Shoot 'em up', above. What I didn't expect was to see a fifth-rate Michael Mann style cop drama where Jet Li's talents (and Statham's) aren't put to any use whatsoever. Hokey and forgettable. (And does Devon Aoki have a terminal disease or something? Is her acting career a present from the 'Make A Wish' foundation? Feh.)

Aw, Hell, Naw!

I Am Legend (D+) Disappointing remake of the Richard Matheson story. It gets good for about 60% of the movie, then takes a short, sharp turn into the lame. The good: You get a compelling character story of how one man deals with enforced solitude for an extended period of time with no-one but a dog to keep him company, whilst being surrounded by feral mutants, no less. There's a genuinely tense moment when Robert Neville (Will 'ah, hell, naw' Smith) is caught by a trap and mutant dogs are closing. Then a Latino woman and a mute kid show up... and the movie goes to shit. I suspect it's a case of gutless focus group marketing, and the addition of one of Satan's Imps in the film industry, Akiva Goldsman, being brought on board to make the story more 'audience friendly'. Avoid.

"Time...to die..."

Blade Runner: The Ultimate Collector's Edition. (A) Movie: (B+)

Yep, it's the biggest, bestest version of Ridley Scott's flawed masterpiece available to the home viewer. The only improvement I can get now is if I get the Blu-Ray version. Firstly, it comes in a faux-steel case resembling the Voight-Kamphf carrying case. Next, you've got the five DVD discs, containing not just the Final Cut, but the previous three versions released on video. And! the rare workprint version seen only by preview audiences in Denver in 1981. Cool beans, if you're a 'Blade Runner' nerd, like me. You've also got some tchokes, like a plastic unicorn, a toy spinner, some postcards of designer Syd Mead's work, and an 'animated' film cel. The transfers are the clearest and crispest I've ever seen. Case in point, up until now, I had no idea Decker recognized Zhora by a snake tattoo on her neck during his time with the Esper. (I had assummed it was a shadow...) And an embarrassment of supplements and commentaries on the various discs. In fact, I'm kinda surprised they didn't interview the catering staff.

As for the Final Cut, while I'm not a big fan of 'Director's Cuts' on the whole, I find Ridley Scott's versions tend to err on the side of the angels. (Like his 'director's cut' of "Kingdom of Heaven", for instance.) They've cleaned up a couple of scenes, where they digitally replace Joanna Cassidy's head and upper torso during her character's death, and use Harrison Ford's son's lower head to sync up dialogue when Decker is questioning the snake merchant. My feelings on that is that it's Scott's movie, not mine, and if he wants to fix stuff that I didn't see a real problem with in the beginning, such is his right.

Now, the movie itself. Well, I recall being fourteen when I got to see it on pay-tv and being blown away. The visuals are so rich and detailed, the whole world so thought out and precise, that it understandably became the basis for an entire sub-genre of sci-fi, the 'Cyberpunk' look. The scene with Deckard and Rachel where he forces himself on her is one of the sexiest scenes in film history. The characters are so unique, and the setting so original, that when you stop to consider the story itself, its 'film noir' roots actually take away from the movie a bit. (It's a detective story where there isn't a hell of a lot of detecting...) I'd put myself on the side of the people who don't like Ford's voice-overs.

Still in all, it's a essential addition to anygeek's library.

(Bonus Feature! In 1998, Paul M. Sammon interviewed Terri Schaub, a caterer for Lights-Coffee-Action!, a craft services company operating out of Los Angeles at the time! Here's a brief excerpt...

Sammon: So what's your most common recollection of the 'Blade Runner' set?

Schaub: Well, it was a night shoot, those are always rough on everyone. You have to totally rearrange your schedule.

Sammon: Mm. What were the principal cast members like?

Schaub: Well, I recall Sean Young was a big fan of our cherry blintzs. Harrison Ford, everyone called him 'Harry', had the tuna salad sandwiches, mostly.

Sammon: Any odd requests from the cast or crew?

Schaub: Ah. Well, Rutger Hauer, being Dutch, was a quite a fan of those salted licorice treats they have. It was a bit of a struggle tracking those down at that time, I can tell you...

...and so on...)